Controversy and confusion wrecked havoc once more in the Federation as warrant for the arrest of two Federal officers were issued yesterday. Their crime - doing business with JADES! Commanders Phil Raqoon & Andy Ironman, both are Executive Directors in the R3 Corporation, have been named as accomplices in an act that defies all logic and makes no sense at all. Investigations continue into the facts behind these allegations but the main priority is to determine the whereabouts of Phil Raqoon & Andy Ironman as, not surprisingly, they have disappeared without a trace! The last time either of them were seen in public was on the evening of Friday 23rd August when they attended the opening of "Cassilleum" - New Kyoto's latest hi-tech entertainment complex. Since then their activities and location is known only to themselves.
   The Federal Navy Head Quarters issued this statement to the public late yesterday evening, "A great deed of misconduct HAS been committed by Lieutenant Commander Phil Raqoon and we are currently viewing this as an act of terrorism against the Federation. Captain Andy Ironman may, or may not, have been his accomplice with full knowledge of his own actions, which is what we are trying to determine before matters snowball any further. Obviously, the Federal Navy does not act on its own judgement or is swayed by rumour or hearsay, the Federal Navy acts on FACT and EVIDENCE and we would like to assure both the Government and the Public that proof of Raqoon's (and potentially Ironman's) guilt is what we are acting on right now. The Federal Navy is not in a position to disclose any details at this time due to the sensitivity of the situation and also do not wish to add to the countless stories that are currently floating around Eta Cassiopeia regarding this matter. We will keep you appraised of the situation as and when any new revelations appear."
   So, as usual, the Federal Navy have spoken but haven't really said anything of consequence or value. No surprises there then! The Trojan Observer approached Eta Cassiopeia's Chief of Police, Jack Mulligan, to get his views. Chief Mulligan met in a conference with the Cassiopeian press this afternoon and had this to say, "Listen up! As far as the Eta Cassiopeia Police Department is concerned, Raqoon and Ironman are criminal scum-bags who've misused, abused and taken liberties with the power and authority they've been entrusted with. We've been asked by the military to assist them, at every level, to hunt down and bring these fugitives to justice and that is EXACTLY what we intend to do! Got it?" When asked what crime(s) had been committed Mulligan replied, "I can only tell you what I know and what I know isn't very much. It seems that our friend Raqoon has been receiving encoded messages from a certain criminal called JADES for a number of months now. As you are all aware, any such involvement with low-lifes like Jades is a crime under Federal law but what Raqoon has done surpasses that! We're not too sure right now exactly what went on but our best guess is that Raqoon has been supplying Jades with upgrades and spare parts for the stolen 'Stealth' Courier, registration XX-001. We believe that Raqoon was assisted by Captain Ironman but as neither Raqoon or Ironman can be located at this time it is pure conjecture." Chief Mulligan was then asked if there had been anybody else involved in supplying parts and/or upgrades to Jades. The Chief answered negatively but reminded everyone that the investigation was in its very early stages and he was sure more damning evidence would turn up in the course of time whether it existed or not! It's good to see the professionalism of the E.C.P.D. has not wavered in its zest for justice over the years that Mulligan has been Chief of Police.
   Now that the matter of Raqoon's and Ironman's crimes has been clarified the only thing that remains is to locate and question them over the allegations of; abuse of authority, misconduct, speaking to a wanted criminal, trading with a wanted criminal, plotting against the Federation, misappropriation of military hardware, unauthorised disclosure of confidential military technology, breach of Federal Navy regulations, aiding and/or assisting a wanted criminal and theft of military property (133 counts).
   There is a Cr250,000 reward EACH for anyone who gives information leading to the apprehension of Raqoon and/or Ironman. This means if one person gave information leading up to the arrest of both these commanders they would receive the same amount as they would for Jades arrest or termination! The Federation must want to bring these two guys in real bad which goes some way to showing the seriousness of what they are guilty of. Keep your eyes on the Trojan Observer for more news!

UPDATE - See 'Late News'

Cdr. P Raqoon

 

Cdr. A Ironman

 

Cdr. Jades ?

 

 

 

 

 

EC Poll :
Are they guilty?

YES - 93.8%
NO - 6.2%

Woman Wrecks Restaurant& Injures Staff!
Two people killed as explosion rocks building.

The proprietor of the new chain of Caffiopeia restaurants is offering a substantial reward and free meals for a year to anyone who can identify a woman who blew up the brand-new planet based restaurant in New Kyoto last week, killing two and injuring numerous other people in the process!
  It was late afternoon at around 5:45pm last Wednesday (21st) when the woman entered the restaurant. There wasn't anything special about her because none of the dozen or so customers who were there at the time remember her actually entering the building. She apparently sat down at a table and called to a waiter, asking him if she could order a 'Meat Feast Special' which was the pizza of the day. The waiter nodded, told her it would be about five minutes and asked her if she would like it cutting into four pieces or six. The woman replied, "Cut it into four because I can't eat six pieces at once." At this the waiter giggled and shook his head as he wandered into the kitchen to fulfil her order. As she looked around there were customers laughing and smirking at her, including some of the other members of staff who were stood close by.
   The woman then rose to her feet and screamed, "Think you're so clever do you? I'll give you all something really funny to laugh at!" With this she reached into one of the pockets on her jacket and produced a Frell grenade. She then told everyone, "the whole place is about to go 'BOOM' and you'll all get blown into a million pieces!" One of the customers remembers seeing her flip the lid and depress the button on the grenade before he ran terrified from the building. Two waiters tried to grab her and disarm the grenade but she knocked them to the floor, as if they were serviettes, with what was described as 'martial arts' type moves. Both waiters received broken ribs with superficial cuts and bruises. Another waiter did the same and was sent flying over a table, dislocating his jaw on impact. After this the staff left the building as quickly as the customers and did not look back to see what the woman was going to do next. A few minutes later the whole building shook as the grenade went off inside. The woman must have made her escape before the grenade went off because her body was not found in the aftermath of the explosion. The only bodies which were recovered was the head chef, who refused to leave his kitchen and the receptionist who had been otherwise occupied in the toilet and probably did not know what was going on inside the restaurant.
  Marcus Trent, the owner of the Caffiopeia establishment, offered his condolences to the families of the staff which perished in the attack. "We still don't know who did this," he said, "but if anyone can help us find out who she is then there will be a very modest reward from myself." Mr Trent gave us a description of the woman - she's approximately 40 years old (apparently she had a few wrinkles which made the waiters think she was getting on a bit), 5' 8" in height, slim build with red hair, wearing wraparound sunglasses and slightly over-the-top makeup. Mr Trent also thinks she must be military trained due to the way she beat up the waiters who tried to stop her. "I've met women like this before, when I was a Federal Officer," he continued, "but it can't be that hard to find an ageing skinny bitch with an attitude problem who's easily offended when people laugh at her dumb remarks... and also has a fetish for Frell grenades! Incidentally, the police are currently searching through their database to find any possible leads that may help us find out exactly who did this."
  If anybody has any information relating to this matter, or thinks they know who this woman is, please get in touch with the E.C.P.D. or any branch of Caffiopeia right away... it will definitely be worth your while! Incidentally, if any of our readers have a clue what 'Frell' grenades are can they please drop us a line and explain? We would appreciate it.

Caffiopeia Prop.
Marcus B Trent

Alioth Administrator In Drunken Brawl!
Dylan Smith fights with police at annual conference in Alioth!

Alioth Police held their annual conference this week at Fortress Culloden on Argent's Claim. All the top brass cops were there including some government officials and staff. Commander Simon Challands was there too, although nobody is quite sure how he got invited. It was probably the fact that Challands heard about the party afterwards and the free drinks that would be on offer and was more than prepared to travel over half the galaxy to get there! Apparently the conference went very well... it was at the party afterwards when everything went a little pear shaped.
   Dylan Smith, Alioth's Chief Administrator is well known for being a pleasant and well mannered kind of guy. Maybe your opinion might change if you saw what he got up to at the after conference bash that was laid on by the Alioth Police Department.
   This report comes from an eyewitness account of what went on at the time. The report states that a very inebriated Dylan Smith launched himself on stage, where the band were playing, told them all to "F**K OFF!" because he apparently could play better than them and proceeded to be sick all over the synthdrums. When an officer climbed the stage to try and restrain Smith he screamed, "I've shagged all your wives!" before punching the guy in the face. At this point the stage became a free-for-all with the band, police and others getting up on stage and joining in the melee. Apparently the police from different planets and areas of Alioth started fighting amongst themselves on the main floor! Smith picked up a microphone on its stand and started to do an Elvis Presley (yes... THE Elvis) impression while the fighting went on all around him, which got quite a laugh from those who were not taking part. The fracas stopped after about half an hour and various medical teams had to be called to the scene once the aggression had died down.
   By the end of the evening Dylan Smith was nowhere to be seen and the feeling was that he had been arrested. However, as people began to leave the scene that night what they saw was Smith & Challands stood on top of a police Viper. They were both taking a leak in the aft air ducts, whilst singing at the top of their voices, "Don't you... step on my blue suede shoes... a-huh-huh!" and wiggling their hips to the tune. A moment later Smith gave out one last remark, "Hey! It's real boot-splashing stuff, this is!" before falling over backwards and passing out due to the amount of alcohol he had consumed. A very drunken Challands wobbled on his legs as he tried to look down at Smith. Noticing that his friends boots were drenched he asked him, "Did you piss on your own boots or was it me?" Then, they were promptly arrested and locked up for the night!

Cdr Dylan Smith

 

Cdr. S Challands

"Cassiopeian Taxes Will Rise Again," Says Gov't!
Governor Dover puts blame on 'too much import... not enough export."

Eta Cassiopeia's taxes are not the highest in the Federation, far from it, but they could be if the Government continue increasing them at the same rate! There has been strong public opposition to the new tax proposals but that does not seem to have made any difference at all. Governor Ben Dover, from his state of office in New Kyoto, issued this statement:
   "The fact that we have to increase taxes again this year is an indication of the strain that our import/export trade is placing on our livelihoods. If people want to buy substandard goods from other star systems then that's fine as long as they understand the Government has to act accordingly. This means, when most of the revenue gained from trade transactions in our system goes elsewhere it's Eta Cassiopeia that loses out, more than anyone. Who's going to fund the E.C.P.D? Where's the money coming from to maintain and upgrade starport facilities? How do you think a Government can support itself and perform its duty correctly without adequate financial backing? Obviously, it can't and I want the public to understand this the next time they decide to buy cheap alternative 'crap' which comes from Allied or Independent systems and traders! Yes... taxes will rise again and will continue to do so until we can bring this situation under tighter control."
   The Trojan Observer would like to point out that, based on experience, the Government has less chance of 'bringing this situation under control' as they do of getting an invite to Emperor Duval's next birthday party! 'Useless' isn't the word for it, 'incompetent' doesn't even get near, 'inept' is getting somewhere close... 'talking crap' is probably quite accurate!

EC Poll :
Do you have faith in your government?

YES - 34.4%
NO - 65.6%

Restrictions Eased On Military Fuel.
But Government has no plans to release the stranglehold!

After the Government initially announced that it would be lifting certain restrictions on military fuel there was a cry of joy and a great sigh of relief! Especially for the market traders and those using military drives in their ships. However, the new laws regarding this much sought after item are no different from the old laws, except that now traders are free to import as much as they like without it having to be authorised by the government directly. Woopee-doos eh? Previously traders have been limited to importing only 2,000 tons of fuel per month of military fuel but it was found that this regulation was being broken left right and center! Traders would submit an import request for 500 tons of fuel and actually deliver a far greater amount than specified, usually under some special arrangement with the recipient - who was also breaking the law! Unfortunately for the government they had absolutely no way of enforcing this unreasonable regulation without considerable time, effort and millions of credits being spent. It would certainly not be worth the governments while to persue this. Instead they have issued this new regulation of 'no limits on importing military fuel' so at least it should ease the availability of this item without having to resort to the black-market. Licenses to sell military fuel in Eta Cassiopeia are still very hard to attain and that is the way it's going to continue, according to official sources.
   There might not be a lot of point in scrapping your old hyperdrive and buying a military drive as soon as you hear about this news... just hang on in there and see what happens. If traders and importers don't feel it is to their financial benefit to operate within the new regulations then military fuel in Eta Cassiopeia will still be a rarer commodity than rocking-horse shit!

LATE NEWS:

Ironman arrested in Miceess (4,-5) : Raqoon's ship seen in Liabefa (-2,-3)
Four eye witnesses reported spotting Captain Andy Ironman yesterday leaving Fort Suzuki's Starport (on foot) at Morris's Grave in the Miceess system (4,-5). This lead baffled the authorities due to the fact that Ironman was rumoured to be in hiding somewhere within the Eta Cassiopeia system itself. However, FIB agents in the Miceess system were able to locate and apprehend Ironman (after he put up one hell of a fight, apparently) and he is now under armed guard and in transit back to Eta Cassiopeia (0,2) as you read this.
Lieutenant Commander Phil Raqoon's ship, a Harrier (reg KV-302), was briefly detected entering and leaving the Liabefa system (-2,-3) this morning by a local police patrol. The destination of the Harrier is unknown at this time but the Federal authorities think it is one of two places; Lave (-3,-5) or Vequess (0,-4). Seems like Raqoon is either going to see his buddy, the Commander of Lave Station, or to help fight the liberation effort for Vequess alongside the notorious Commander Nomura! Time will surely reveal the answer and we'll keep you updated as soon as any more news arrives...